To a sane and responsible mind, it is appalling and disheartening to witness disrespect and discourtesy as its being meted out to our elders by the young. Disrespect for elders, seniors and the neglect of constituted authority is a common occurrence nowadays. This makes it seem normal, though it is not. Day to day life in Africa could be chaotic, life compares to a survival of the fittest and people prefer to maintain a Machiavellian approach to life. In this kind of environment, minimum emphasis is given to respect and courtesy as indispensable virtues. This statement by J.B priestly, tries to portray the extent of disrespect in modern society, thus “there was no respect for youths when I was young and now that I am old, there in no respect for the aged… I missed it coming and going”.
Nowadays, the young minds hardly comprehend the difference between good and evil, even as they strive to defend their rights to the detriment of the possibly deserving party or an opponent. . Equal right hence supersedes respect to seniors and as such, the young mind has the right to live their lives as they deem fit. In the same vein, some elders don’t seem to respect themselves. Some elderly people are known to live a delinquent life which is often emulated by the younger minds. This is because the younger minds looks up to the elderly as an indispensable source of values and norms and if the elderly revel in mischief, insincerity, libertinism and so on, it will create the impression that negative is positive to the young mind. These acts attract disrespect from the young minds against such elders. The extent of display of disrespect and discourtesy is rather worrisome and appalling; it creates the need for a conscientious reorientation of all and sundry especially the repentant, willing, humble and sane minds. Great nations are made out of orderly and organized societies which are products of a workable hierarchical order, which cannot exist without respect for seniority and other aspects of constituted authority. If there should ever be progress, sustainability, continuity and peace in any society, respect and courtesy must be embraced as partners in progress. The current trend of disrespect and discourtesy bedeviling contemporary human society thus makes it mandatory for interested and sane minded individuals to address this issue as a matter of urgency.
What is respect and courtesy?
Through history, several scholars have defined respect according to their understanding. In all, these scholars have invariably attested to the importance of respect, politeness and courtesy in the modern society. The words respect and courtesy are two different terms with different meanings but they are closely interrelated and will collectively fill up gaps for this write up. According to the lay man, respect occurs when a person values another person’s opinions, thoughts, beliefs and achievements and then treats the person with dignity. The difference between respect and courtesy is that respect has to be earned, while courtesy could simply mean politeness, consideration for other people or exhibition of good manners. Thus courtesy encapsulates the teachings of the good books which admonish faithful to treat others as they would want to be treated. However, these two terms are intertwined because; the elders, due to the age difference, deserve respect, the teacher also deserves respect from the student and a public servant deserves respect from the public who they serve. Also, friends deserve respect from themselves if the friendship is to be sustained Etc. In line with my assumptions, another group of thought defines respect as the objective and unbiased consideration and regard for the rights, values, beliefs and property of all people (best quotes-poems. Com). Respect then is a virtue of honouring somebody like your elders, your teachers, your peers etc. Respect also incorporates friendliness and comfort to people around you so as to make them feel at ease whenever they are around you.
These definitions are reasonable and acceptable because they are able to portray respect as an indispensable virtue which is supposed to be embraced and guarded by all of humanity. Nevertheless, our lines are replete with scenes of disloyalty, disrespect and discourtesy. Then why do people choose the path of disrespect in the expense of the noble path of respect and courtesy? Why does the young man or lady prefer to disrespect or insult an older person, a person in authority or a superior in the workplace or in a public setting? Several reasons could explain this anomaly: they includes societal influences, influence of foreign or local media, ignorance, peer pressure and influence, egoism, absence of good role models, indiscipline among the elders, perceived injustice, lack of parental upbringing or bad parental upbringing etc.
Advice to the young and the old
A morally sustainable society is sustained by mutual respect from all sides. Therefore, if a system like our society is malfunctioning morally and ethically, the root could be traced to all the working parts of the system which in this case includes the elders and the young. Everyone has to be aware of their responsibility in this mutual relationship for the sake of moral and ethical sustenance. The elders should know that “if you respect yourself, others will respect you”(Confucius). However, the young should also know that ‘respect for one’s parents or an elder is the highest duty of civil life’ (Chinese proverb). Be that as it may, respect commands itself and can neither be given nor withheld when it is due (Eldridge cleaver). This is why the elders should lead by example. Showing good example. Showing good example to the young and naïve is like cultivating a tree of assorted sweet fruits which if properly cared for, grows to bear good and sweet fruits for the role model and the child who looks up him. Self discipline is a virtue which should be embraced by the young and the old too. A self disciplined mind is mature and can withhold or suppress aggressive feelings which normally follow a display of injustice or a trampling on one’s right or ego in a public setting. We can always think about the problem later on and try to solve things in a mature way. That is better than acting arbitrarily, which precedes a display of contempt to an elder or constituted authority. However, this technique is made easier, when the constituted authority embodies the ideal of justice and equity.
Yet, there are instances when ill-nurtured, and mischievous men and women would arbitrarily and deliberately disrespect and show contempt for an elder or constituted authority. The perpetrator stands to lose because respect and disrespect or courtesy and discourtesy are infections and it goes back to the perpetrator in no time. Noble acts and behaviours attract respect while sordid, disgraceful and scandalous acts attract contempt and disrespect. According to William Hazlit, the way to procure insult is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.
Be that as it may, respect/self respect is the cornerstone of all virtues (John Herschel) everyone should try to exude respect and courtesy in every situation. As we try to do so, the spirit of Goodwill will seek to uphold us against contempt. So my brothers and sisters, I am not concerned with your liking or disliking me … all I ask is that you respect me as a human being (Jackie Robinson).
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